Shadows of the Past
by mad melma
Summary: BV fic. Living in the shadows of his former master, Vegeta is tormented by his past and must come to terms with it before he destroys himself and those around him. NEW! Chapt 5 'unbearable' is finally up. Yah!
1. Prologue: A long kiss goodnight

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, even though I wish I did but.. I also have no money so don't take legal action on my butt, 'cause ya ain't gonna get anything, unless you really want my socks. Anyhow ...  
  
Author's notes.  
  
Just to let you know this story has been a royal pain in my backside for sometime. I've always loved dissecting characters (its one of the things I'm good at according to my English high school marks) And I thought I'd write my own interpretation of character in this story. I was looking back on my prologue and the first few chapters while working on a new one and decided that I wasn't happy with this anymore. It's been posted from some time now but seeing as I was unsatisfied with it I took the liberty and revised. Hence why it's been a royal pain in the ASCII. To any of my fellow fan fic'ers who have already read this insanity please feel free to let me know what you think of the revision. Hopefully it clears anything that was slightly iffy up.  
  
Oh, just to let you know sometimes our surly saiya-jin likes comes in to visit me, so if the author's notes contain any vulgarity it's his entire fault.  
  
Thanks for taking the time to read this insanity and now on to the story.  
  
*-*-* -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Prologue  
  
Incoherent mumbling and shifting beside her woke Bulma from the warmth of sleep. Rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palm, she sat up and glanced at the clock. This was starting to get out of hand. For the third time in two short weeks she was forced to reach out a gentling hand in order to soothe the pain from her mate's furrowed brow. Running out of ideas to calm his restless slumber Bulma tentatively inching towards him. Drawing closer she hoped that for once Vegeta wouldn't turn her away as was the norm.  
  
Unlike previous nights, instead of grumbling and pushing her away, Vegeta surprised her by shifting and tightly returning her embrace. As he clutched her, Bulma was shocked to discover that he was actually trembling. Whispering his name worriedly at her discovery, she pulled back to question him. Not giving her the opportunity Vegeta tersely shock of his head silently demanding her not to ask. Pulling her back to him as if she was his proverbial life preserver he buried his face into her thick locks.  
  
Completely at a lose as to what to do Bulma sat silently, slowly letting her hands trace the familiar lines of his taut back. As his body started to relax and his laboured breath slowed she risked a glance at his face. The sight that greeted her was something she thought she'd never be witness too. Vegeta's well guarded and usually intact mask of indifference had slipped, laying bear to her an image of complete emotional disarray.  
  
Concern clouding her eyes, Bulma lightly cupped his face in an attempt to draw darkly shadowed eyes to her. "Vegeta, what's ... " She began but was quickly cut off by his seeking and demanding mouth.  
  
A shaky, desperate voice soon reached her ears in the deathly silent room "Onna. Please. Don't." He whispered as he brought his mouth hungrily back to hers.  
  
Protest silently forgotten on her lips, she gave in to his questing pleas and lay pliant before him. Giving Vegeta a chance to regain some semblance of control of the situations as he struggled to pull himself together again. His hunger was solely for himself, desperate to recapture what he had so sorely lost in the realm of his slumbering mind.  
  
One sided as the act may have seemed, Bulma took greatly saddened pleasure in the fact that Vegeta sought her for comfort. Letting him use her for one night was of little consequence and was a great improvement from the usual act of locking it away. Beating himself to near death in the GR was a far cry from a healthy expression of emotional release and was not having a positive effect on either of them. Despite the reasoning behind the hungry need, Bulma sighed contentedly as she drew on step closer to understanding his lonely and darkly troubled heart.  
  
Drawing ever closer to the chasm of pleasurable release, Bulma told her numbing mind that she would find out what was lurking behind that dark, haunting look even if it killed her. Then just as quickly as the events had begun, they took each other tumbling over the edge and quietly into the deep dreamless sleep of exhaustion.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
Melma's end cap ... Ahhh, that better. Please give my story a chance and keep reading. Its gonna get better I promise. 


	2. Weak

Disclaimer: Just incase you didn't catch it in the previous chapter..I don't own any of these characters or DBZ and I have no money, so no one send any lawyers to my door.  
  
Author's notes: Hey fellow fan fic'ers. Just a few words of wisdom before the all the insanity starts. I would just like to thank everyone for reviewing my last chapter. It was really great to hear from you and it helps to know people are actually reading my stuff. I would also like to thank RustRaven for the help in completing this chapter. I got really stuck and the grumbling companion was no where in sight. I still don't really know where I'm going with this so your input would be much appreciated. Thanks again and I'll try to update as soon as I can. ~ madmelma ^ ~ ^  
  
P.S This chapter was revised as well.  
  
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Weak  
  
As the sun's morning light slowly crept its way over the horizon, Vegeta stirred. Squinting against the light's intrusion, he groggily glanced at the bedside clock. Growling softly at the ungodly hour and knowing full well that the likely hood of him getting back to sleep was pitiful; he untangled himself from the sheets and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Sighing, he came to the decision that a light workout and a long shower would help to elevate the fog that had settled over his mind. In the state he was in now there was no way he was going to be able to train full out without a warm up and some breakfast. His mind was just too distracted. Over the years he's body had grown accustom to the minimum amount of sleep that the nightmares caused. It was a daily reminder of the life he had once lived under the tender care of Freiza. Chuckling at the thought of Freiza every being tender, Vegeta silently slipped from the warm embrace of the room out to the mist shrouded yard though the balcony window.  
  
*-*-*-  
  
"Damn Saiya-jins and their training" Bulma cursed as she discovered the vacancy beside her. "Just once I'd like to wake up with him still tangled in the sheet with me."  
  
Hearing a snort from the bathroom she glanced up and scowled. "If you had to wake up beside what I do every morning, you'd want to get out of bed too"  
  
Growling audibly Bulma sent a pillow sailing through the air towards her still damp mate. "Like you're that great to look at either"  
  
Dodging the pillow easily, he straightened up from his reclined position against the door and chuckled. "Onna, I'm the picture of perfection"  
  
"Oh please." She snorted tearing her eyes away from the towel loosely wrapped around his lean hips. "Could your ego possibly get any bigger?"  
  
Keenly aware of her wondering eyes he crossed the room, steam pooling at his feet as he let the towel slip from his waist. "You didn't complain last night."  
  
"Like you even gave me the chance." Came her reply as heat rushed to her cheeks  
  
"That colour suits you, onna," Vegeta observed with a smirk as he bent to slip on a pair of loose fitting, navy track pants.  
  
Enjoying the view Bulma snuggled back against the pillows, a mischievous smile slowly gracing her lips. Well, she never denied that he was perfect, especial from this angle. As she watched Bulma became acutely aware of the tension rolling off his body. Recollecting what had transpired the night before she slipped out of bed and went to him. Wrapping her arms around his waist she laid a light kiss on his scarred shoulder. "Vegeta?"  
  
Stopping what he was doing he stared down at the floor. He knew this was coming. The nightmares had been progressively getting worse over the last few weeks. His complete avoidance of the issue with Bulma was bound to get her concerned attention eventually. Rubbing his eyes he tried to ease the pain that was building behind his temple. "Onna, I'm fine. Just let it be."  
  
"You getting another headache? Vegeta when was the last time you got a full nights sleep?"  
  
"It will pass. A good workout will help"  
  
"You've been letting it pass for the last month"  
  
He clenched his teeth trying to bite the urge to yell. "And working out has helped them pass. Don't bother me with this, onna"  
  
"Well obviously something's not working." She replied moving to stand in front of him. At her insistent stare he turned away, scowling mask falling into place. "Would you at least look at me and tell me everything's fine to my face?"  
  
Roughly pulling on his shirt Vegeta glared over his shoulder piercing her with his most menacing stare then quickly looked away. "It's none of your concern."  
  
"None of my concern. Kami Vegeta, of course it's my concern. I see what you going through every time I look at you. You can't possibly expect me to just sit back and do nothing. Why do you feel so compelled to keep pushing me way? I just want to help" Reaching out she carefully cupped his face trying to draw his eyes back to hers. "I can't just sit idly by waiting for you to completely lose it and blow up. Half the time I feel like I'm walking on egg shells around you. That if I say something and push to hard I might get myself killed every time I make an attempt to figure you out."  
  
"Back off. My past is none of your concern" He growled stalking away from her.  
  
This was an old argument and growing older by the minute. "That's your problem. You always walk away from it. What happened to you to make you--?"  
  
"What? A weakling? Is that it, onna?"  
  
"I was going to say bastard but if you want to put it that way, fine." Bulma said haughtily, slapping herself mentally for not holding her tongue. 'That was a stupid,' She groaned to herself as she dropped her head in her hands, this was getting them absolutely no where.  
  
Waiting expectantly for his disgruntled reply she looked up to discover that she was alone, the balcony curtains blowing absently in the wind of his wake. Turning back to the emptiness of their room she wrapped a still warm blanket around her shaking form. Willing the threatening flood of tears back, she breathed in the still fresh scent of his skin and crawled back into their excessively large bed.  
  
*-*-*-* =(  
  
Broken Words - Finger Eleven  
  
Your sweet little hands  
  
Brush right past me  
  
Sometimes you don't understand  
  
Why you can't reach  
  
I bite when I don't want to bend  
  
How silent I can be  
  
So she is silent too  
  
She's the one who saw my words  
  
Broken, Torn at the seams  
  
And broken words were all she heard  
  
Now she's walking away from me  
  
Some never meant  
  
And some meant well  
  
The difference between us is so  
  
Hard to tell  
  
I was so shaken but now  
  
All I see  
  
Is everything she meant to me  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
The air rushed by him in a deafening roar, landscape bellow flying by with a blur. Vegeta had no idea where he was but he didn't care. As long as he was away from Capsule corp. and her he could get some peace. Her prying was driving him insane. She asked the impossible of him. There was no way he was going to jeopardize his pride for her irritating curiosity. Some things were best left dead and buried. Next thing he'd know she'd be asking for a child and there was no way on kami's green planet that he was going to let that happen.  
  
The idea of a child brought a twinge of fear to Vegeta. With the life that he had lived the very idea of children was preposterous. The thought of him bringing a life into the existence after all the people he had killed made him smirk. The irony certainly wasn't lost on him. His line would end with him, the last pure saiyan. His people's time was over and with his passing they would disappear like the desert sands of his forgotten home.  
  
Growling at himself angrily he poured on the speed. The thought of that woman was putting strange ideas into his head. Self discrimination was not something Vegeta wanted to dwell on for too long. It could lead to things he would regret later. He needed a distraction. Stretching out his senses he picked up a faint ki over the horizon. Blood lust in his eyes, he turned and sped off toward his prey. The hunt was on.  
  
*-*-*  
  
That's it for this chapter. Next time find out what poor creature our surly saiya-jin has put his sites on. 


	3. Home?

Disclaimer: Don't own, no money, no sue.  
  
Authors Notes: Oh my, it's been a really long time since I've even looked at this. I thought it would be a good idea to start working on it again for the few readers I have. Sorry it took me so long. You all know how it is...life ...job.... lack of motivation but recently I've had the urge. It might have something to do with a certain swirley-eyed samurai that I am currently and forever obsessed about. (Hint to future work genre) I've got a few ideas swimming in my head for other stories and I have started one...it's not at the posting stage yet though. It will be called Kuraitani, which interestingly enough was gonna be the name of this but I saw the errors of my ways and changed it. The new one will be a B/V romance feudal Japan style...that's all you're getting on that one.  
  
Anyway thanks for the continued support by my few readers. Hopefully this will help to get a few more by actually posting. And a special thanks to a few of my favourite authors...mightymightymunson, wavewalker, darke angelus and a hell of a lot more I don't have room for. Just check my list (I'm not sure if they will ever see this but I'm giving it a shot) You have all been a great inspiration. And for any of you who haven't read any of thier stuff. GO. READ. ENJOY!!! It's all great work.  
  
Well that's enough of that. On to the story.  
  
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Home?  
  
As the sun set over Capsule Corp Bulma started to get worried. She hadn't seen hide or hair of Vegeta all day and usually that wasn't uncommon. With the way thing had been lately though she suspected that it wasn't a good thing. With his temper, small innocent animals and peaceful islands were bound to pay for her curiosity. She just hoped none of the Z senshi decided to cross paths with him or they likely wouldn't be conscious long.  
  
'Like that didn't happen on a regular basis anyway.' She snorted to herself.  
  
Vegeta was usually a solitary person but every now and again he gained perverse pleasure in sparring with her friends and sometimes attacking without provocation. 'Just ask Goku,' she thought. 'He could vouch for that.'  
  
Chuckling at the insanity of her situation she decided to head down to the kitchen. If she was going to find Vegeta anywhere it would be there. Now or later it didn't matter. He would show up. Eventually his saiyan appetite would demand it. Hunkering down with a steaming cup of coffee she prepared for the long wait ahead.  
  
*-*-*-  
  
Bloody and panting heavily the saiyan in question leaned against the charred remains of what used to be a very large oak tree. "You've ... improved ... Kakkarott"  
  
"You're not ... bad yourself ... Vegeta" Replied the sprawled out form on the ground. "You got a few in ... that I'll be feeling for a week."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"You feel ... better now? Or do you ... want to ... go another round?" Panted Goku looking in Vegeta's direction before letting his head fall back to the ground  
  
"You can't ... even move, what use ... will that do, you weakling?"  
  
"Hey look who's calling the kettle black. By the way nice shiner." Came a chuckled retort.  
  
Growling audible Vegeta pulled himself slowly to his feet. Feeling a slight ache in his back he stretched out carefully and with a crack readjusted the discs of his spine.  
  
"Kami, that's sick." Goku grimaced.  
  
"I wouldn't be doing it if you hadn't blind sided me into that cliff you fool so stop your complaining."  
  
"Well if you hadn't ambushed me we wouldn't be sitting here"  
  
"Shut up you imbecile"  
  
Silence descended on the unusual pair as they collected what was left of their scattered wits.  
  
"So are you going to tell me what all this was about or I'm I gonna have to guess?" Goku spoke up.  
  
Over the last few years the pair had gain an unusual friendship. One that Vegeta was reluctant to admit to existing but was there none the less. It was initiated more for Goku's sake then any other. His amnesiac state causing him to seek out information about his forgotten heritage with the reversed benefit of being a handy breathing punching bag for his surly counterpart. On the rare occasions when the prince was actually in a talkative mood, which was next to never, Goku had managed to get an incredible amount of insight into his dark upbringing. Slowly developing a better understanding for Vegeta's dark personality and desperately guarded past. Needless to say the prince still wished to knock him into the next dimension but that didn't really bother him.  
  
The Prince's masked didn't slip often and this time was no exception. The walls that were always present doubled ten fold and Goku was rewarded with a glare of malevolent rage for his trouble.  
  
"I don't need a reason to beat the shit out of you fool. You just happened to be in the wrong place and the right time."  
  
Shaking his head in disappointment Goku pulled himself to his feet and dusted off his gi. "Still the same old Vegeta. I thought by now Bulma may have been able to soften you up a bit. I guess only Shenlong can do that but knowing you, you'd still put up a fight."  
  
"Humph! That woman has no power over me, Third Class and if you think she does you are sorely mistaken." Came the angry reply.  
  
"Ya well I guess your right." Knowing that there was no way in winning this battle Goku abandoned his pursuit for the time being. He'd find out eventually what was going on. Either by himself or though the "Chi-Chi gossip line". People may not have believed it but he did catch on to a lot of what was going on around him. For the better part of the time though he just choose to ignore it and play dump. The sudden grumble from his stomach though diverted the rest of his attention on the subject. Calling to mind more pressing matter that needed to be dealt with.  
  
"Well Vegeta, as fun as this has been I really gotta go eat. If I'm not home for food soon Chi-Chi will send out a search party and I'll never hear the end off it."  
  
"Kakkarrott, you are one peculiar Saiyan to say the least. However you put up with the harpy is beyond me. If I was you, which thank the gods I am not, I would have blasted her loud assed mouth into the next dimension years ago."  
  
"Well you've never tasted her soba noodles." With that he raised his fingers to his head, gave a nod of farewell and was gone.  
  
*-*-*  
  
The journey back to the West Capital was a haphazard one. The large storm system crawling in over the slumbering city acted as a perfect excuse to delay the inevitable. The confrontation that awaited him back at home was not something he was looking forward too to say the least. The look in her eyes when he saw her would be even worse. Pity and disappointment was not something he would associate with himself but she was bound to show it in her emotional expressions.  
  
Home? When had he started to refer to it as that? He'd vowed when he'd first stepped foot on this planet, years ago, that he would destroy it and everything on in. Now he was referring to it as home. When had that changed? Home had never been a word he'd taken seriously. From the age of eight he'd lived on one ship after another, going wherever he was told. When you're a forced soldier in an enemy army there was no such thing as home. You'd never see it again so what was the point in getting hope up at setting foot on it. And besides you were never expected to live long enough to ever see freedom again. After the news of Vegeta-sei being destroyed he never expected to think of a place as home again. Now here he was calling this pathetic excuse of a mud ball home. When had his perception become so warped?  
  
Shaking the thought from his head as the first rain drops fell from the rumbling clouds above he decided enough was enough. His stomach was demanding attention and avoiding the onna wouldn't be that hard to accomplish under the large roof of the capsule corp. He'd sleep in the gravity room if he had too.  
  
As an up current of cold air shivered up his back the thought of sleeping on his own didn't really sound all that appealing. He'd grown so used to sleeping with her petite body snuggled up against his own. The idea of actually finding comfort in the arms of a weak onna was slightly disturbing to say the least. If one thing was for sure, this planet was making him soft.  
  
Grumbling at the stupidity of his situation he finally turned for the direction of the head quarters building and the sapphire eyes that awaited him.  
  
*_*_*  
  
As her coffee cooled before her, Bulma watched the time tick by on the wall clock. Wondering how much longer she would have to wait and whether she'd be waiting forever for something that might never come to fruition. Rubbing the foggy haze of exhaustion from her eyes she sighed in frustration. How did she ever end up here? Their relationship, if it could actually be called that, had started out as mutual lust and eagerness for human companionship. Just two lonely souls looking of a chance at easing the burden of an empty existence. It had all happened so suddenly. Before all these complications, life had just been filled with verbal sparring and bruised pride, then one night everything had changed.  
  
! * ! * !  
  
Flash back (Three months earlier)  
  
Late one night after coming home from a strenuous day at the lab she'd arrived home to find the Prince-of-arrogance standing out in the middle of the lawn starring off into the night sky. She's been surprised at finding him wasting time doing something so humanly trivial. Upon approaching him to harass him about it she discovered a rare look of longing in his usually stoic expression. Curiosity and concern made her reach out a hand. Touching his shoulder she was shocked to find that he didn't pull away like was the norm with him. His only response was to release a despondent sigh and a quick slightly guarded glance in her direction. The glance had shown all she needed to see. His ever present mask had slipped and she had caught a glimpse of something akin to pain radiating from his dark eyes. Startled for the second time that night and unsure of what to do or expect next she stood silently beside him. Offering a comforting presence where he obviously needed it.  
  
After a short time Bulma had began to think that he had forgotten she was there and turned to head into the beckoning warmth of home. She had just started to walk away when he'd reached out for her arm. "Please, stay." The lack of any malice in his voice brought her to an abrupt stop and she returned to her place beside him.  
  
"Nice night." She'd commented to easy the thick silence that had fallen again. Pulling her light business jacket tighter around herself she started shivering uncontrollably. It was early fall and the temperature at nights had started plummeting down near the point of freezing. Feeling the eyes of the enigmatic alien watching her closely she felt a slow blush start to warm her cheeks.  
  
"Yes, very nice." Came he's reply. She could have sworn that she'd heard something else in that response but she couldn't have been sure. Her uncertainty soon doubled though as he'd stepped closer to her. Feeling to warmth of his body so close she had glanced up and been caught in his haunting stare. Before she knew what was happening she'd been pulled into his embrace and soon fell victim to an impassioned kiss.  
  
Stunned beyond all belief she stood there until the warmth of the action had sunk in to her frazzled mind. Once she regained her composure she'd melted into his arms and returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm. The next thing she knew she was in his room eagerly tearing the cloths from his body seeking the contact of skin to skin, falling in heated delight to the welcomed invitation of his bed and body.  
  
End flash back  
  
! * ! * !  
  
That had definitely been a night to remember. She'd awoken the next morning, no big surprise, on her own. Not really knowing what to expect from her houseguest now, she'd decided to deal with it later. She really had no idea where this left them. Was this a one time thing or something else? Her questions were all answered though as night fell over the mansion and he'd dragged her off to his room again. Over time they'd eventually migrated to her much bigger room and they'd come to a silent understanding of one another. During the day no one was to be the wiser but at night it was a totally different matter. They never really discussed where they stood with one another but Bulma didn't want to push her luck. He's come out of his shell and she didn't want to push him back into it. She'd just deal with her feeling on the situation on her own, knowing full well that she was starting to fall into a an emotional trap that she'd never be able to crawl out of again. Love was definitely a strange thing.  
  
Reaching above her head to ease the kinks in her back she released a yawn that a bus could drive through. The now cold coffee before her just wasn't working anymore and the stresses of the day were finally catching up to her. Giving one final glance at the clock she relented to stumbling into bed and dealing with this in the morning. Having her wits about her was a much need necessity when concerned with the close minded saiyan. He'd flatten her in second in the state she was in now. There was no way that she would be able to compete with him like this. Slowly climbing to her feet, she emptied the last drags of her coffee down the sink and deposited her mug in the dish washer. Upon completion of this she turned and headed for the stairs.  
  
Unbeknownst to her, her every tired move was regarded wearily from the shadows of the living room. He'd returned home just in time to see her stumble to the sink and turn to head for the stairs. Thanking the gods that he wouldn't have to deal with this tonight. Silently sneaking into the kitchen he prepared himself a late night snack and headed out the back door to the solitary confinements of the gravity room.  
  
*_*_* =)  
  
melma's end cap: Well that's it for this time around. I wanted to write more but I thought that this would be a good place to end for the time being. I promise it won't be 6 months before I update this again. I've got the ball rolling again and the writers block has decide to take a hiatus. YAHHHH!!! Finally. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed this installment of my attempt at fanfiction. Please review for your input is much appreciated and helps me over come of the foreseeable bump that are bound to occur.  
  
Until the next time, stay frosty =)  
  
Oh! P.S. I apologize for any grammatical mistake you may find. I was eager to post and didn't get anyone to beta for me. I just couldn't wait any longer. Let me know if you find any and I'll fix them as soon as possible. 


	4. Ignorance is Bliss

Disclaimer: Like everyone else here, we all wish we could own DBZ but we don't, especially not me. I have no money and am making no money from this so please don't sue me. I have nothing of any really value so it wouldn't be worth the time and effort.  
  
Author's note: Hey everyone, look I'm actually posting another chapter and it hasn't been six months. Man, the creative juices most really be flowing. Well I just thought I'd clear a few things up before I got started with this chapter.  
  
D.A - This story does take place during those much written about three years. I decide to start my fic off with their relationship already established (for roughly three months ) although it obvious that it's very shaky to say the least. I just thought it was a more interesting place to begin since everyone likes to write from before they hook up. As for the reference to being mates, that was just for the effect of stressing the point that they are together. Though they haven't yet preformed any formal ritual to unite them, the term is meant more as an endearment then as an actual title. (As close to an endearment as the Vegetable will get) Bulma knows next to nothing about saiyan customs due to Vegeta not being very forth coming. Vegeta's lack of communication about himself or anything for that matter is the #1 problem in their rocky relationship. Well, I think that covers it. Thank you very much for the review and sorry for the confusion. Let me know if there's anything that you'd like to see in future chapters and I'll see what I can do. Suggestions are always welcome.  
  
Well that's it for my babbling for now. If I think of anything else I'll post it at the bottom of the page. Thanks again everyone. Now, on to the story.  
  
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The searing pain of overworked muscles screamed in desperation as Vegeta pushed his strained body though the final steps of his kata. Sweet dripping and muscles quivering he moved with the deadly precision of a master. Eyes closed, his concentration solely centered on the right contraction of muscles and the smooth transition between one perfect strike and the next. He raised his knee in a practiced ease and swiveled into a swift round-house. Even before his foot touched the ground he was spinning into a perfectly executed back kick. Thrusting out with enough strength and speed to upset the air currents around him and lightly tussle his erect mane of ebony hair.  
  
With a grunt of effort he slipped into a tight stance and preformed a series of hand and elbow strike while smoothly gliding across the floor. Ending with an elaborate open palm strike meant to drive an opponents nasal cartilage into his skull, his knees finally gave out and he slumped to the floor. Forcing his lungs to continue drawing oxygen in the high gravity environment was almost too much effort as his field of vision slowly started to gray out. Snarling at his own ineptitude he forced his body up by sheer willpower and limped over to the control panel.  
  
As he hit the shut down button he immediately felt the pressure lift from his body and for a few short seconds the uncanny feeling of light headedness. Once his head returned to it proper place upon his shoulders he tiredly slumped to the floor and slipped into oblivion.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
(Dream sequence)  
  
Darkness surrounded him. It permeated everything. It felt as if it was oozing into every pore like a tangible black sludge. Subconscious will brought his ki into existence. The brilliant light produced seemed to evaporate into the nothingness around him. Frustrated he pushed his ki outward hoping to dispel the darkness and to ease the pain radiating through his body but it proved to be futile.  
  
Feeling the unease of pray caught in the sight of the hunter an eerie foreboding crept its way into his mind. This wasn't right. What was going on? Why did he feel so cold? Stretching his inhuman senses to their limits he heard a whisper of something best left forgotten. Whimpering he drew into himself as the torturous sound of a familiar cackle reverberated through the still air. Followed shortly thereafter by currents of searing pain pulsing through him as if to taunt him into insanity. Drawing his ki inward he begged to any higher powers that might be listening to end this. To stop this before he was drawn in any deeper into the past. He couldn't take it anymore. Feeling the tendrils of fear snaking up his back he know that no one would be coming to his salvation to end his suffering.  
  
He knew that escape was useless. That the minute he tried, his movements would become sluggish, his limbs heavy and that no matter what he did it would still end the same way. This wasn't new to him. This dream had been chasing him for months now. He'd thought that it was all dead and buried in the past. But like the stench of death it was hanging around in the back of his mind waiting to show its ugly face again. And with the warm, sickly brush of acidic breath over his ear he pulled into himself. Knowing that the darkness would descend on him no matter what, he released a cry of anguish as pale skinned hands crept up his back and a leathery tail wound around his leg.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
Jolted by his own screams, Vegeta awakened to the cool touch of steel below his heated skin and darkness surrounding him. Scrambling to put his back to the wall in order to get his bearings, he anxiously glances around before it dawned on him where he was. With a bulkhead firmly behind him he dragged himself shakily to his feet, gingerly rubbing his aching lower back.  
  
"Damn it." He whispered angrily whipping the sweat from his face. "This is getting ridiculous. You'd think I just crawled out of an incubation chamber."  
  
Visibly shaken by the reoccurrence of his nightly terror, Vegeta groggily made his way through the capsule to the living quarters located bellow. Forcing his mind to shut everything out except for the thought of showering and beginning his training anew he dragged himself into the bathroom. Avoiding the pale and disquieted reflection of himself in the mirror he stepped into the blissfully hot shower to drawn out the world and its constant pain for a few minutes. Slowly allowing his tense, aching muscle to finally relax and his perpetually guarded wall to drop, the weight of the past few weeks finally revealed itself in his haggard appearance. The hotly prince was no where to be found in his tired disposition.  
  
He knew that he couldn't keep the act up anymore and that without a break Bulma was surely going to become more concerned then she already was. The fact that his mask was already slipping and that she had started catching snippets of his crumbling psyche was great testament to how well she could read him. That fact alone bothered him. How had she managed to learn so much about him? Had he become that soft? Because of the ache to have her in his arms he swore and cut the thought off. If only his father could see him now. He would probably role over in his grave in shame.  
  
'The way I am now I wouldn't last a minute in the Saiyan hierarchy. I'd be dead before I even set foot in my audience chamber.'  
  
Grumbling as his mind once more drifted back to the blue haired onna he stepped from the shower and prepared himself for his daily self inflicted beating.  
  
*-*-*-  
  
Pulling her brush through her hair Bulma regarded her reflection in the mirror. Smiling at the lack of lines and her perfect complexion from years of routinely pampering her skin she allowed herself a moment for self- indulgence. At twenty-eight she was amazing lucky to have skin so young in appearance considering her stress levels but she chalked that up to genetics and constant vigilance on her part. Her body was well toned as well but years of gallivanting around the world with Goku and the crew probably had something to do with that. 'Great, mind blowing sex probably help with that too.' She smirked to herself.  
  
After finishing with her hair she smiled one more time at her refection and headed to her closet. She had a meeting with the company executives and some future partners today and she had to look her best. 'Not that that would take much.' She allowed her ego to whisper in her ear. Laughing at herself she gazed into her immense walk in closet. Rows of business suits and evening wear, all colour coded, graced on side and an organized custom designed shoe racks of matching shoes of various styles and colours sat underneath.  
  
Contemplating the right colour to wear could take sometime. She didn't want to appear too overbearing and unattainable to her future business partners but she didn't want to look too meek and fragile to her executives either. If she did, they would walk all over her the first chances they got, owner and head of research and development or not.  
  
They were a cut throat lot and the best in their field. That was one of the reasons she and her father had hired them. She knew that if she sent them out to finish a deal she wouldn't have to worry about any lame contract scams with prospective associates. These guys were wolves when it came to business. If someone wanted Cap' Corp's business they would find a way to make it beneficial to them no matter what. They could talk a lamb out of its coat in the middle on winter, make a sweater out of the wool and sell it back to them with the right incentive. She really hated the back stabbing in their ranks though but she put up with it. Everyone had their own eccentricities, including herself and if she had to deal with that in order to keep thing running smoothly she would. Anyway, in the end she had the final vote in everything and if she was displeased they would know it. Her executive may think they were smart but she could manipulate them in to do her bidding at the drop of a hat. She just loved to see them running around fighting for her attention and the bonus it usually offered.  
  
Drumming her fingers on her lips, she glanced over all her business apparel. ' Boring. Too frilly. Too short. No way in hell. Way did I buy this? What was I.' Her train of thought stopping dead as she caught sight of the few measly possessions owned by her enigmatic lover. With a blink of an eye her cheery disposition had completely vanished. Sighing dejectedly as her thoughts were filled with the conversation they had yet to finish from the day before, she haphazardly grabbed a suit and closed the closet. Trying desperately to pull her scattered thought together Bulma quickly dressed. She didn't realize until she stopped to apply her makeup that she'd picked a suit that complimented her mood to a tee. Gray.  
  
'Great, what a way to start out a day. I exude depression.' Groaning at her misfortune and at the lack of time to correct it with any resemblance of expedience, she patted on some loose powder, dabbed on some rose water and flew out the door.  
  
*-*-*-*-  
  
Rushing down the stairs she could her the chattering, bubbly voice of her mother and instantly knew who she was talking to. Her mother only got that excited with two people; Barbara Streisand (Kami forbid) and Vegeta. Knowing full well that he only put up with her constant twittering due to her ability to cook not her witty conversational skills. Realizing that she was holding her breath she forced herself to exhale and wished Kami for a strong sedative to still her fluttering nerves. She hadn't seen or talked to Vegeta in close to twenty-four hours. In all that time she'd come up with numerous ways to approach him but all had fled the moment she stepped foot into the kitchen.  
  
He sat in his usually place, regally munching on a strip of bacon and blatantly ignoring the buzzing woman behind him. Glancing up at Bulma's arrival he held her gaze for a moment then returned his concentration to the food in front of him. Aware that he was being regarded with a critical eye he stiffened and refused to look in her direction again. Quivering slightly from Vegeta's obvious avoidance, Bulma forced her self to the coffee machine and greeted her mother.  
  
"Morning Mom."  
  
"Why don't you look nice today dear." Came her mother's bird like response. " Do you have a secret liaison with a certain someone this morning?"  
  
"No mom I do not. I actually have a meeting." Bulma corrected trying to keep her eyes off the haggard appearance of the saiya-jin. Apparently he'd slept just about as good as she had the previous night if not worse. Seeing as how she could actually make out shadowing under his eyes. Watching him just sitting there as if nothing was wrong got her blood boiling. 'How can he simply ignore everything?!'  
  
"That's nice dear but I think I liked the idea of a secret liaison better, especially if it was with a certain house guest. It's only natural for two young people. I know what you kids are up to these days. I was young once too. Why I remember when I was your age your father and I.."  
  
"Oh Mother, please! I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is with the G.R. humming all night long without having to deal with those images floating around in my head." Knowing that she was hitting below the belt with the gravity room she continued on. "And besides liaison isn't really a word that takes precedence in this house where I'm concerned. I can sleep in a cold bed just as well as I can in a filled one. And why I'm I having this conversation with you?"  
  
"Because I'm your mother and who else would you be telling this too?"  
  
Hearing a snort from the table behind her Bulma fumed. "And what's so funny in the peanut gallery?" Her only response was a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders. "Erg! I don't have time for this." Throwing back her coffee and grabbing an apple off the table Bulma turned to head out the door.  
  
Glancing over her shoulder once more she caught a brief glimpse at what appeared to be relief cross Vegeta's face. Growling angrily as she slammed the door behind she coursed the power that be for not creating a 'How to Understand the Introverted Saiya-jin Male.' instruction manual. Knowing full well that Vegeta had actually slunk so low as to use her mother as a personal shield against her. The fact that he had thrown aside his damn pride just to avoid a confrontation with her proved just how bad thing had become. Vegeta never turned his back on a fight, it just wasn't in his nature. Throwing open the capsule that contained her little red sports car, she jumped in and sped off to her meeting in the city.  
  
*-*-*-*-  
  
Releasing a sigh of relief Vegeta sagged slightly. His meal just wasn't appealing to him anymore. Rubbing a hand over his face he pushed back from the table, stood and started for the stairs.  
  
"Why Vegeta, you haven't finished your breakfast. Are you not feeling well?" Mrs. Briefs fussed  
  
"I've lost my appetite." Came his grumbled answer as he once again massaged his lower back. ' Why is this bothering now after so long?' He wondered  
  
" Oh my. Well that's no good." She said while cleaning up the table. In a voice that hinted intelligence beyond her usually ditsy manner continued " Whatever the problem is you two should sort it out. Depression doesn't suit either of you."  
  
Shocked at the woman's insight Vegeta stopped in his tracks and watched her with a curious eye.  
  
"I'm not as dumb as everyone thinks you know" She winked at his gapping mouth. "I can read my daughter like a book. And when it comes to you. well lets just say I mother knows. I can't have unhappiness in my house. Bulma may be a strong one but she can't hold out forever, even for you. I know that a mother has to let her child fall now and again so she can learn to walk on her own, but I don't want to see her hurt. She means well, you have to admit to that. But where you' re concerned she's out of her league."  
  
Smiling at the look of astonishment coming from Vegeta she sighed and stated. " I don't like seeing good food go to waste. So you two sort out whatever it is you've gotten yourselves into, okay? Don't leave her hanging in the wind. Whatever it is your going through you should let her know. You'd be surprised how much she can handle and how far she's willing to go to help. You remember that."  
  
"You have no idea what you're asking me to do." Vegeta whispered as he again turned to leave. " I could destroy her."  
  
Watching his retreating back she relied. "If I didn't ask it could very well kill you both."  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
A/N. Well that's it for this installment. REVIEW ME PLEASE! Anything, positive or not, will help me greatly in the upcoming chapters.  
  
And as for next time..Bulma comes up with a plan to loosen the vegetable up and gets a little help from an unexpected source. Will she be able to get into his head and discover his hidden past? Even more so will she be able to cope with what she finds out? Find out in the upcoming exciting installments of "Shadows of the Past."  
  
Oh ya.PS. I think I might be giving Vegeta back his tail but I haven't really decided yet. There's just something so cool about a furry tail that just gets me going. (That might have been a bit too much information.) Ok, I'm really going now..oh but let me know what ya think. Until next time, see ya 


	5. A small semblance of normalcy

Disclaimer: Like everyone else here, we all wish we could own DBZ but we don't, especially not me. I have no money and am making no money from this so please don't sue me. I have nothing of any really value so it wouldn't be worth the time and effort.  
  
Author's note: I'd like to take the time to send a huge thank you out Bex- Chan. Your numerous recent reviews for this story kicked me into gear to start working on this again. I appreciate all of your reviews even the slightly insane ones. (You should see some of the ones I've written.) It's nice to know that someone is steadily following this stories progress, even if my creativity is timely in its pace. I haven't given up on this one yet. It's just been on hiatus due to other projects and lack of inspiration.  
  
And also a huge thanks with sprinkles to Girl of the Flame ( Flamie =P ) Your reviews helped get me motivated enough to keep going even when all I want to do is crawl into bed after a long day of working at the DEPOT.  
  
Oh just to let you know I changed my mind on the events in this chapter. Its not going to be as light hearted as I intended. Just a warning that this is gonna contain some serious angst just because I love angst and hard core tragic heroes.  
  
So this one's for you Bex and Flamie ...without further adieu chapter 4  
  
----------------------  
  
A small semblance of normalcy  
  
With the safe, clicking sound of the lock falling into place Vegeta sagged against the door. Reflecting a symbolism of the sanctity he wished for his throbbing skull. Rubbing palms roughly against the haziness that crept into his vision, he stared blankly into the dark confines of his old room. The only barrier, flimsy plastic blinds covering the lone window, temporally closing off the room from the outside world.  
  
Admittedly the scene in the kitchen had almost been too much for him. The little sleep that he was managing was playing havoc with his already battered emotional state. All this compounded with the now constant head ache and the never ending weariness of Bulma was starting to have a detrimental effect of his presently shaky constitution.  
  
Staggering drunkenly across the room he landed face first with little more then a grunt on the stale smelling bed. He's had little use for the room the last few months having spent most of his time curled around a certain blue haired temptress.  
  
Turning his head towards the wall he lazily sat watching an intruding shaft of light snake its way along the wall with the slow movements of the sun. The only hint to the passage of time to his sleep deprived brain.  
  
The same thoughts kept repetitively circling behind his shadowed eyes. The one that stood out the most being the strange mysteries of the universe in regards to the sudden burst of intelligence displayed by the onna's flirtatious mother.  
  
The gods must have thought it was very amusing to toss tiny fragments of enlightenment her way. The reactions of those around her must have served as great entertainment and a polar opposite from the tortures they continuously suffused upon him. 'Just a way to get off on the best of both worlds.' He thought darkly. Her seemingly bazaar behavior was probably what drew the unusually coloured Doctor to her in the first place.  
  
With that thought in mind part of their earlier conversation about mating rituals drew forth some very disturbing pictures. Disgusting beyond belief he rolled on to his back and furiously scrubbed at his eyes. Shuddering involuntarily at the shear horror that that presented, Vegeta growled of irritation then proceeded to let loss a varied assortment of curses directed towards the ditsy blonde. After which Vegeta began working his way through every calming technique he knew in hopes that his angrily churning gut would settle.  
  
As the images were forcefully extinguished a familiar mind numbing sound made its way to the surfaced of his thoughts. _Little monkey, where are you?_ Body tensing in horror and forgotten pains reawakening Vegeta curled in on himself. Hugging his chest tightly and clamping his teeth against the uncontrollable chattering of cold fear he swore loudly that he was not going dwell on this. Not now. Not ever.  
  
_Ah, so there's the little monkey prince_.

Thoughts of what the bastard did were best left in the long ago, deeply buried box at the very back of his mind. He knew that the mental barriers that barred that part of his past had, over the last few weeks, weakened beyond his control but he's be damned if he let them take over. And if the only effect was a few hours of lost sleep and a migraine from hell he could deal with it. Physical pain was something that he understood. He'd just continue to indulge his pride and shove the terrifying visions back where they belonged with the gut rot not far behind.  
  
Hopefully given a little time, meditation and some distance from the onna, he'd be able to put all this behind him. Right now getting back to what passed for normalcy, on the mud ball that Goku and baka-gumi liked to call home, was his top priority.  
  
_Ha, what a un-monkey thing to do. You should know that hiding is of no use._

Clenching his eyes tightly Vegeta willed the taunting laughter and the feeling of prying fingers to stop. This wasn't real, there was no way it could be. He was dead and there was no coming back._Ah but you did._ Telling himself that he was at home and alone was of little comfort as a small part of his mind kept questioning that fact.

_How can you be sure I'm not standing right behind you, monkey?   
_  
'You are not here, its all in my head. All I have to do is open my eyes.' _Go ahead boy, prove it _At the hissed taunt Vegeta sprang up, palm open and aglow to defend any attack. Eye's frantically searching the shadowed room, he tried to calm his racing heart. Bring his back to the wall he slowly circled the confines of his one time sanctuary. ' There's nothing here. It's just the lack of sleep.' He kept repeating like a mantra  
  
The repetition finally started to relax him, as Vegeta finished searching the shadows. Pausing by the dresser to catch his breath he risked a glance at his reflection. There reflected in the glass before him was his worst fears come to life. The pale figure stood grinning maliciously from just over his shoulder. His purple tongue snaking hungrily across his glistening lips.

_There you are my pet. I told you, you couldn't hide from me_.

Fear gripping him Vegeta turned abruptly, throwing his back into the dresser as glass showered down around him. Onyx eyes fixedly staring at the spot where the lizard had supposedly been standing. No one greeting his anxious stare but the line of light from the retreating sun. The waves of unsteady emotions that his normally controlled demeanor kept at bay, burst forth in rapid succession.  
  
Feeling the aggressive onslaught surge forward, Vegeta finally lost the battle with his weary body. Hurriedly forcing him to race to the on-suite bathroom and retch violently into the low flow toilet. _Ha, your pathetic you dirty monkey._ Embarrasses and shaken by this unpleasant turn of events Vegeta let his flushed face rest on the cool porcelain. This just couldn't last. In the past his control had always been rock hard. What had changed that? Why was he finding it so difficult to keep the past _in_ the past?  
  
As he pondered this, the queasiness in his stomach slowly subsided to a dull ache. Now that he thought about it, his life had changed so much. The fact that he was sitting here passively proved that. There was a time not long ago that a planet like this would have been destroyed without a second thought. But now the compulsion had faded and with it the hardness he had associated with for so long.  
  
The onna had awakened in him things that he'd always been told were weak qualities. Personal connections were not to be had on a ship of murders. They'd only be used against you later on and on Freiza's ship that wasn't just a threat, it was reality.  
  
Exploitation of ones weakness was what that lizard thrived on. Vegeta knew that and knew it well. It had taken a very long time for the sick bastard to find his. And knowing it had almost been the end for Vegeta. Freiza couldn't stand not being in control of everything and everyone. That solid, grotesque control had been what all his lackeys had feared and in the end, even the saiya-jin prince.  
  
The very memory of that had been a black plague on Vegeta's mind for years. His dark reminiscing on that triggering his suppressed memories. The sudden feeling of cold, trespassing finger grazing his spin caused his stomach to abruptly rebel anew. _Useless monkey._ His weary body constricting and heaving with no apparent release. Gulping huge mouthfuls of air he sat hunched over the bowl, begging furtively for the nausea to dissipate. Relief came unexpectedly as a cold compress dabbed at the heated skin at the nape of his neck.  
  
---  
  
(Slightly earlier that afternoon)  
  
The scene upon her arrival home was nothing new. Her mother sat cradling a box of tissues while she watched the daily scheduled dosage of soup operas. Catching her daughter's reflection in the screen as the credits began to roll she started to blubber incoherently on how Kent had lied about cheating on Chrissie. And following daytime melodrama had, in a stereotypical order of events, ended up in a horrible crash and was now comatose in the local general hospital.  
  
Eyes glazing over and shaking her head in automatic responses to her mother's admonishment of the cruelty of writers, she slinked inconspicuously into the refuge of the kitchen. As she went mumbling something about the cat needing to be let out along with a litany of various other chores that had to be done. All of this while she crossed her fingers and hoped desperately that her mother didn't catch her in a lie and realize that they had house druids for a reason. Her mother did really get way too worked up sometimes.  
  
Sighing audibly, Bulma whipped a hand across her brow and set about making herself a strong cup of coffee. "Sometimes I wonder if I really am her biological child."  
  
"I'm sorry to say but there's no doubt about that, dear." Completely caught of guard by the comment, Bulma jumped and smartly knocked her elbow on the counter.  
  
"Kuso, Dad you scared the crap out of me!" Turing to watch the ghost of a smirk cross over her father's face. "And that wasn't funny. My elbow really hurts."  
  
Not bothering to look up from his paper he calmly turned to page. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but it serves you right for sneaking out on your mother."  
  
Brushing the comment off Bulma returned to her neglected cup. "I didn't think you'd be here. I thought you had some work to do in the lab today."  
  
Realizing that his daughter was in a talkative mood, Dr. Briefs push his paper aside. "Well I figured since the GR needed a tuning and up grade I'd get to it while it was free." Eyeing the coffee brewing on the counter he cleared his throat. "That boy likes to push our equipment to the breaking point. After that last unforeseeable incident I didn't want to take any chances. That thing is pretty close to the house after all."  
  
Pouring some coffee for her father Bulma saw the insight to his thinking. 'Incident' was definitely a delicate word in relation to that disaster. She's had a field day trying to explain that away to the local media. And their resident alien prince had really done a job on himself.  
  
Glancing out the kitchen window at the now quiet gravity room she was surprised that he'd survived it at all, but she should have know better. After all the time traveling with Goku and seeing all the things he could do she shouldn't have been surprised in the least. The fact that Vegeta was up and at it again not two day later paid testament to that.  
  
As she sat watching the sun start its lazy descent, she let her mind drift. She'd sat and watched Vegeta sleep worried that if she left his side he might not wake up again. That had been one of her biggest fears. Not being able to hear his witty sarcasm again or witness one of his distance stares and wonder what was going on behind those dark pools.  
  
Bulma remembered watching his pale, sweat covered brow as it contorted with some internal battle in his sleep. Trying to comprehend what could drive a man to such extents and still somehow live on after all he had seen and done.  
  
Hearing her name being called, Bulma shook the thought away. "Umm....what was that?"  
  
"I said, 'the coffee smells wonderful.' " Catching the hint she looked down at the forgotten cup held in her hand.  
  
Walking to her father's side she placed it in front of him, "Sorry dad. My mind wandered." then turned to retrieve her drink.  
  
Accepting her apology with a knowing smile, Dr.Briefs took a tentative sip. Regarding his daughter as she again drifted off again. "Well how did the meeting go?"  
  
Blinking her eyes as she pondered the question Bulma turned again to the window. "Well the reps from the South district wanted an update in the final pay increases and...." Locking her eyes on the curiously dark GR a thought suddenly occurred to Bulma. Peeking at the clock and replaying what her father had said to her a nagging feeling blossomed in her stomach. If her father had had time to fix the craft outside then where was Vegeta? Usually he'd be out there for another few hours before coming in demanding sustenance of some sort.  
  
Forgetting the previous direction of their conversations Bulma asked her own. "When did you say you started working on the GR up grades?"  
  
Baffled by Bulma's question Dr.Briefs scratched his prickly chin. "Umm ... I didn't. I've been working on it most of the day though. I needed to wrap my head around something that I knew worked for a few hours." As his daughter stocked across the room to the fridge he arched an eye brow. "Why is something wrong?"  
  
Opening the door she took stock of the plentiful amount of food stored there. The roast beef her mother had cooked last night especially for their house guest still sat in it original spot. All wrapped up in tin foil with the yellow sticky note her mother had placed on it last night with its detailed re heating instructions still stock on the side. "I'm not sure dad. I'll let you know when I know." With that she quickly left the room in search of the elusive saiya-jin.  
  
---  
  
Prowling the house with a skilled determination, Bulma looked in all Vegeta habitual hiding spots. The rec' room, under and in the tree out back, even the roof where'd she'd caught him on occasion napping. Searching her mind for anyplace she hadn't thought of Bulma turned back towards the house. As she rounded the corner and she came across her mother watering their prized garden. 'Well if anyone knows where that carrot head is, its mom.'  
  
"Hey Mom, have you seen the Vegetable around anywhere today?"  
  
"Why Bulma that's not a nice name." Bunny chastised, focusing on her daughters somewhat disheveled appearance. "You shouldn't pick on him. After all that poor boys been through he deserves a little respect."  
  
Taking aback by her mothers reprimand, Bulma looked away and sheepishly replied. "Gee, sorry." Her light hearted mother was never one to scold and this was a shocking turn in her otherwise placid demeanor.  
  
"That boy has enough on his plate without having to deal with you poking fun at him, dear. You should be nicer to him."  
  
Rolling her eyes sky word she wished to Kami for strength. "Mom, I said I was sorry. I don't have time for this right now. All I want to know is if you've seen his royal highness."  
  
"Now that's a bit much dear. You don't want to give the boy a superiority complex." Rolling her eyes again the thought that that was already to late drifted through her head. "The last time I saw him was a breakfast. The poor thing couldn't even finish his meal, he looked so tired." As he mother spoke an idea slowly started to form in Bulma's head; quickly kissed her mother in thanks she sped off towards the back door.  
  
"Oh! You're welcome, Sweetheart." Drifted her mothers sing song voice to Bulma's retreating back. "Well that was odd."  
  
--- 

(Back in the bathroom)  
  
Flinching slightly at the intrusion Vegeta resignedly drew his head up and glanced with half lidded eye over a still quivering shoulder. Demurely crouched behind him sat the last person Vegeta wanted to see, a sad smile gracing her somber face as her hand ran rhythmically up and down his taut back. Patiently waiting for his scattered wits to settle with no undue pressure for the questions he was sure to follow.  
  
Several minutes ticked past as they regard one another silently. Vegeta waiting for the interrogation to start while Bulma sat and searched for the reason behind the constant fear that seemed to lurk as off late, behind his usually haughty stare.  
  
_See, even she thinks your pathetic._  
  
'Shut up, shut up, shut up,' Vegeta growled inwardly. 'Just leave me alone.'  
  
_Oh, but where would be the fun in that?_  
  
Seeing a look of anger slowly starting to boil in his expression Bulma took a moment to stand and refresh the quickly warming washcloth. If Vegeta was worried about her seeing him like this he'd have to get over it because she wasn't going anywhere. "You ok now?" She asked over her shoulder not being able to meet his haunting gaze. Upon hearing an affirmative grunt in response she turned back and replaced the cold compress. "I was starting to think you'd taken off again."  
  
When Bulma had finally figured out where her grouchy mate was hiding, seeing him heaving over the toilet was the last thing she had expected. Upon enter the room and seeing the shattered mirror she'd known she was in the right place, that followed by the retched hacking told her things were not as ok as Vegeta had affirmed. "Come on, let's try getting you on your feet."  
  
Reaching forward Bulma was hurt to see him flinch and shrug her advances of help away. Standing by helpless as he got shakily to his feet, Bulma tried to figure out what was to come next. This was defiantly a delicate subject and she didn't want to push her already guarded mate any further away. "Vegeta...?" Stopping her train of thought as she watched the walls build back up at his name, Bulma decided that for now she would ask nothing of him. She knew that getting anything from him in his present state was futile. A supportive shoulder at the moment was what he needed most. "We should get some food into you. If will make you feel better with something warm in your belly." She suggested motherly.  
  
Later the night after Bulma had managed to get several bowl of soup in to her quiet house guest, she sat silently by, watching him stare out the living room window. He'd spent the rest of the evening deep in thought and never far from her sight, which was unusual in its self. It was almost as if he was afraid to be alone. He had even gone as far as to forego his evening training session in the GR. Too disturbed by some inner turmoil to follow his own strict regiment of training.  
  
It was odd just sitting there watching him with a glazed, faraway look on his face. She'd never seen him so immersed in his private thoughts. What was even odder was that every now and again she could have sworn she heard a growl emanating from him and upon closer inspection, a twitching from his lips as if he was talking to someone. Definitely not the norm when it came to him.  
  
Rubbing her eyes wearily Bulma finally decide to put down her forgotten book and call it quits for the night. She'd let them both sleep on it tonight, then refreshed and rejuvenated in the morning she'd have another go at it. Hopefully she could come up with some way to get him to open up to her. Maybe Goku would have an idea on what was troubling her mate. They spent so much time sparing together that even her decidedly ditsy friend would be able to pick up on something. Kind of like brothers at arms or something like that. Bulma thought she'd read somewhere that comrades usually grew tight bonds and became really good at reading each other. Maybe, just maybe Goku would be able to tell her something. Realizing that her thoughts were completely useless and that Vegeta would never considered Goku a comrade of any sort made Bulma laugh at herself. 'Baka, this is Vegeta you're talking about. What were you thinking?'  
  
Arching her back against the sofa in a huge stretch Bulma gathered up her things and prepared to head upstairs to bed. Walking over to Vegeta she placed a hand on his tense shoulder. At her touch he jumped slightly and shock his head as if rousing from a dream. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I'm heading up to bed. Are you coming?" She asked as she rested her chin on his shoulder.  
  
"Hn." Came his reply  
  
Well that's the most I've heard you say all day. Add a couple more syllable and we might actually have a conversation." At that she turned and starting to make her way across the room. As a hand grabbed her arm Bulma came to a stop and peered over her shoulder. Next thing she knew was suddenly being caught tightly up in his arms. His face pressed close to her neck where she couldn't read his expression. "Hey, what's up?"  
  
"Just shut up." He growled as he pulled back slightly and brought his mouth roughly down to meet hers. "Just for one night shut the fuck up."  
  
_There's no escaping me my pet._   
  
---------------

TBC  
  
A/N Well that was a long time coming. Phew that took forever. I kept reading over and rewriting parts so it just compounded the whole posting time for this chapter. But when all is said and done I hope you all liked it. Just to let you know if you hadn't figured it out already, the i italics/i in the chapter for the majority are Freiza. Any internal dialogue produced by other characters will be as shown, 'Yadda, yadda, yadda. Blah, blah blah.'  
  
This chapter didn't exactly follow what I had planned out originally. The plot bunnies have started to take me on a bit of a different route. So I apologize if I never touched on anything I may have mentioned in the end of the last chapter. As for the title for this chapter, it was anything but normal. I started out thinking of writing one thing and ended up going a completely different direction with this but I still like the title. I guess it ended up being a bit ironic since right now their lives together are completely messed up. Hn writers' prerogative I guess. Oh well.  
  
REVIEW ME PLEASE! Anything, positive or not, will help me greatly in the upcoming chapters.  
  
And as for next time ... I don't know yet...hasn't been written. You'll just have to wait and see but I can give you a possible title for it: Moo Sugu ya ga Akeru meaning; The Day will Break Soon. I wouldn't put stock on it (just incase life gets in the way again) but I'll try to get the next chapter out faster then this one (Hopefully within a month) So stay tuned to find out what happens in the next exciting installment of "Shadows of the Past."  
  
PS Here's some great reading music for this chapter.  
  
1. Underworld (the soundtrack) 2. Watchman (No Longer Mine) 3. Evanscence (anything from Fallen)  
  
---- =)


	6. Unbearable

Disclaimer: Like everyone else here, we all wish we could own DBZ but we don't, especially not me. I have no money and am making no money from this so please don't sue me. I have nothing of any really value so it wouldn't be worth the time and effort.

Author's Note: Well, okay, I lied. I didn't get this chapter out in a month. So sue me, I've been really busy with work, school and life. So I apologize to all those people who have been patiently awaiting this chapter. I just want to say a few words of thanks to the people who reviewed then it's on to the story.

Reader's at big breath…ok thanks to Unknown Saiyan; its nice to know I've improved, Faraday; thank you very much, Laina; hopefully this was updated fast enough for ya and Meow; I really love torturing main characters. I think they all need a little tragedy to make them interesting in my book. (Mmm, got to love it.) And a big, sloppy special thanks to Girl of the Flame (Flamie); it's nice to know I have a fan.

Readers at AFF… Veggie's Slave and Evil Saint, thank you so very much for the warm welcome. I really appreciate it. I was really surprised when right off the back almost moments after I'd posted I'd received two awesome reviews already. I caught me quite by surprise. That was just so cool. Thanks a lot and I hope you will enjoy the chapters to come.

Just to let ya know as a warning this chapter is very lemony among other things and I will be touching on some disturbing facts from Veggie-chan's past. So if you have a weak constitution or you're just not into this stuff I'd suggest not reading on.

Well enough of that, now on to the good stuff D

-

b Last time on Shadows of the Past /b 

"I'm heading up to bed. Are you coming" She asked as she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Hn." Came his reply

Well that's the most I've heard you say all day. Add a couple more syllable and we might actually have a conversation." At that she turned and started to make her way across the room. As a hand grabbed her arm Bulma came to a stop and peered over her shoulder. Next thing she knew was suddenly being caught tightly up in his arms. His face pressed close to her neck where she couldn't read his expression. "Hey, what's up"

"Just shut up." He growled as he pulled back slightly and brought his mouth roughly down to meet hers. "Just for one night shut the fuck up."

(There's no escaping me my pet.)

-

Unbearable

The wind howled through the streets like rabid wolves while raging lightening forked its way across the churning black sky. The trees swayed in a violent dance as they were buffeted from all sides, silhouetted on an ink black background with every flash. The distant rumble the last definite precursor to a raging storm creeping its way across the evening skies, a night of tranquility a hopeless wish on the slumbering cities inhabitants. Except for two individuals, both of which where completely lost in their own world of gratification.

The mad rush to get to their room had almost been too much for the distraught Saiyan. Tearing clothes as they entered the dimly lit room they collapsed in a heap of ravenous mouths and greedy hands on the bed. The earlier situation slowly slipping from his mind as Vegeta lost himself in the sweat scent of Bulma's skin as he trailed kisses down her neck and collar bone. Stopping at the rapidly beating pulse point and nipping at it gently before he continued on his lazy way down her quivering body.

When he finally slipped into her warmth they both gasped in heated bliss. Halting their movements, Vegeta gently licked and nipped the soft flesh of Bulma's neck as she arched towards him, eagerly begging for his touch. Complying, the corner of his lip twitched in a feral smirk at her easy show of submission. The feeling of her around him was almost enough to throw him over the edge but he bit down on his control, wanting nothing more but to draw the moment out for as long as possible. And as she moved against him he slowly started to respond in kind. Letting Bulma fragile body set the pace to their union.

As they started the long slid towards completion the world around then seemed to vanish. There was no one else, no other distraction, no impending doom on the horizon, just the act of heated flesh to heated flesh and the hurried sway of impassioned bodies seeking some semblance of peace Rocking into her with growing abandon, she arched up towards him, laying her breast within reach of his nipping teeth. Gently sucking in one delicate pink nub as she found her rhythm beneath him, he felt his belly start to tighten. Slowing down to draw out the impending euphoria and wanting nothing more but for the hopelessness of his life to just disappear he sank once more into the core of her being. A place in which he never thought he'd find momentary peace for his tormented soul. This living entity beneath him, joined with him, he realized, in ways more then just physically as he lightly kissed away the single tear trickling down her cheek.

This blue haired beauty had become more then just the libido induced release in which he had originally intended. She'd somehow along the way turned into something so much more. Something that stirred in him emotions, that by genetic right, the saiya-jin species should not have been able to feel. He was of pure warrior blood, for Vegeta's long line there had never been such a thing as a life mate. Only the lower classes were ever allowed to partake in such archaic sentimentality. For this growing connection to actually be occurring was hypocritical to everything he had ever been taught during his very short childhood on Vegeta-sei. None of his comrades during those long dark years could have foreseen the untold bliss which he felt at that moment. Truthfully if they had still been around, they would have never believed him. Cold blooded killer that he was, the word euphoria would have only been used in context to blood lust for his people. But here he was buried to the hilt in the heated, wanton body of an earthling, millions of miles away from where his pathetic excuse for a life began and drawing ever closer to forgetting that fact as his minds fogged with pleasure.

Creeping ever closer Vegeta accelerated with renewed vigor knowing that their combined nirvana was just within reach. Feeling something cool and smooth brush his thigh he swatted at it and dismissed it all in one thought. Then as suddenly as it had occurred an angry familiar pain began to claw its way across his back, sliding down his backside to reach deeply within. The pain grew so intense that he growled as the sudden awareness cleared his pleasure fogged mind. 'No, this isn't happening' He told himself. 'It's all in my mind, you're not there. It's just me and the woman.'

(Keep telling yourself that, boy. I wont make a difference.)

Clinging to Bulma with a sense of desperation, Vegeta buried his face in the crock of her neck in an attempt to drown out the voice and its sickly, sweet breath. Some where in the back of his mind Bulma's worried voice reached him as she called out his name. His grip tightening in response as he tried to returned his concentration to the supple body beneath his. 'Leave me alone.' He kept repeating in his mind like a mantra. Fighting the urge to look, he pushed on. Knowing it was childish he told himself that if he didn't look it couldn't be there, but the forgotten pain radiating from deep within put a stop to that thought almost immediately. The lazy path of a tongue tracing its way up his sweet covered back was cause enough for him to yelp in response, but he curbed the impulse by sinking his teeth into the tender flesh before him.

(You're still as tight as I remember, boy. Oh how I've missed you.)

Letting out a yelp of her own, Bulma pushed away, "What's up with you? That hurt." Catching the suddenly drawn and protective expression on Vegeta's face as he quickly glanced away she grabbed his chin and brought it up so she could meet his eyes. Shocked to witness the fear that radiated from his dark orbs, she drew him to her in an embrace. Not knowing what to make of his strange behavior the last few weeks she quietly rubbed his back in comfort.

As lightening streaked across the sky outside, the room was illuminated in an eerie glow casting shadows across the wall just as Vegeta dared to look up. Gasping in sudden terror he saw the familiar silhouette from his nightmares on the cool surface before him. Pushing Bulma roughly away he tumbled from the bed and backed into the corner shaking his head in denial. Before he very eyes lurked the shadow that had been good and dead for sometime now. "You're supposed to be dead, why won't you leave me be?" Vegeta whispered gripping his head in his hands

Slipping from the bed after him Bulma approached Vegeta slowly not knowing what he might do in his suddenly agitated state. "Vegeta? …babe? What's wrong? Who wont leave you alone?" But the words never reached him. All he saw was the gruesome pale figure of the past immerging from the darkness and leering at him manically.

(You know what you really are and what you really want, my pet. Now let the animal lose and take that which you desire. Let the saiyan blood lost within you out. Show me and the world what you truly are, so I can make you mine once more.)

"No, stay away, you're not real. No one controls me..." He growled, baring his teeth and shifted into a fighting stance as the apparition grew nearer.

Taken aback by his unusual show of feral aggression Bulma stopped her approach and slowly raised her hands up, palm side out. "Vegeta, it's me, Bulma, remember?" As concern etched its way across her shaken features.

Realizing the situation was quickly growing out of control she racked her brain from some explanation as to what had gone wrong. The earlier events of the day coming to the forefront of her thoughts as she took another tentative step forward, there was something seriously wrong with him. A sudden feeling of utter dread overtook her as the pale aura of the irate Saiyan's ki started to flare around him. "Vegeta, snap out of it, your starting to scare me."

"I'll send you back the depths of hell demon!" Before Bulma knew what was happening she was thrust forcefully back against the wall, Vegeta's warm, callused hands curling like iron around her neck. Seeing stars appear before her eyes, Bulma searched his gaze in desperation, looking for some trace of the man she knew. But instead of the man that only moments ago, had been locked in an intimate embrace with her, the crazed eyes of a stranger starred back. Trying desperately to tear his grip away from her tender throat she managed a small gasp. "Ve..ge...ta ...you're hurt…ing me…" As the world started to blur before her and silent tears slip from her eyes a flicker of recognition passed over his dark features. Brows furrowing in a quizzically line his grip lessened, in some part of his mind a promise he'd made months back floated up to the surface. 'You said you'd never hurt her.' Blinking as the reality tilted back into position, Vegeta became horribly aware of what he'd almost done.

Releasing his hold on her tender flesh he shakily backed away, watching as she crumpled to the floor with a terrified expression passing over her features. 'I can't believe I …what's happening to me?' Staring down as his hands in utter disbelief, Vegeta couldn't summon the courage to look up at her and see what he'd almost done. The one person on the whole planet, that for some strange reason was completely dedicated to him, who was willing to stick up for him and take all his bullshit, had almost met her end at his very own hands. Reaching out to her tentatively, he searched desperately for some way to fix the damage he'd caused. Wanting nothing more then to hold her tightly in his embrace once more he shook his head. "Bulma ….I…I'm sorry…I…"

"DON"T TOUCH ME."

Guilt weighing heavily upon him, Vegeta frantically glanced around the room trying desperately to make some sense of what was happened. Hoping against hope that this was all just some royal fucked up dream and that he wasn't really going nuts, his sight passed over the pale demon from hell that was laughing at him from the other side of the room. Knowing full well that fate would never be so kind to him, Vegeta quickly gathered some clothes and vanished from the room.

(That's it my boy, try running. There is no escape.)

-

Slowly the world titled back. Her trembling subsiding and the undeniable fear evaporating from her body, Bulma finally regained a modicum of composure. Whipping the tears from her puffy eyes she peered into the darkness of the room. There was no one there but herself and the haunting echo of what had just transpired.

Meekly calling out for her missing lover, she pulled herself unsteadily to her feet and made her way tentatively over to the still open window. 'Oh Kami, what's happened to him?' A feeling of foreboding settled over her fazed mind as she looked out at the churning, angry sky; knowing that something was horribly wrong with the very upset Saiyan.

Wincing at the beginnings of a headache starting behind her eyes, Bulma was startled to hear a whisper, a quiet plea for help, pass through her mind. Dropping to her knees she clamped a hand over her mouth to stop the scream of terror that threatened to escape her body. The disembodied sensation of falling suddenly taking over, making her stomach clench and rebel as if she was hundreds of feet above the ground. What was this feeling? Where was it coming from? The pain was unbearable. Closing her eyes against the spinning movement of the room, she gasped at the imagines playing out before her. Horrible pain, burning flesh, evil laughter, all combined to make a morbid video of death behind her closed eye. Catching a reflection in the fire light and gore she forced her eyes open.

"Vegeta, I have to find him." Hurriedly grabbing up anything she might need she raced out the door, snatching her cell phone up as she passed.

-

'What have I done? Kami help me. Bulma….I'm sorry.'

Screaming viscously to the flashing storm over head, Vegeta blindly tore through the night sky headless of his direction. The rumbling masses of condensation and vapor unloading their wet burden from above, pushing him ever closer to the sodden earth below. The wind fighting him at every turn the prince pushed on, determined to put as much distance between himself and the horrors left in that room as far away as possible.

(Stupid monkey.)

Was there no respite? He asked himself yet again. Why was this coming back to haunt him now after all these years? Hadn't he suffered enough?

(This is getting tiresome. We've had this conversation before, monkey.)

"LEAVE ME ALONE"

The horrid sound of chuckling seemed to come at him from all sides, swirling around him in a chaotic torrent. Clutching his ears in a meager attempt to drive the wretched sound from his distraught mind, Vegeta let loose a cry of animalistic terror. Begging in vain for the torture to stop, he hurtled towards the ground.

(What's the matter my monkey? Having problems keeping it up? I think I can rectify that.)

-

Bulma had to find him. The guilt she felt wouldn't allow her to let things stand as they were. It kept replaying over and over again in her mind, the pained, dejected look that had past over his once proud visage, shook her to the core. She had to make things right before he…she couldn't imagine what might happen.

But this thinking didn't get her anywhere. Right now Bulma had to bottle this up for latter retrospection and stick to the task at hand, finding Vegeta.

As she raced down the highway heading for the city limits, she knew that time was against her. With every passing second he was slipping further away from her. Trying to concentrate on that thought her mind began to wonder into a subject she just wasn't sure she could handle.

She knew Vegeta could be a very irrational man at time. Taking on unbelievable physical barriers with a dedications that boarder on obsessed. It was something he knew how to handle with a very strict regiment of training. But when emotions were thrown into the mix, and his stunted view on them, she couldn't be sure what might transpire.

Her rejection of his advances to rectify the situation had been as good as a physical slap to his obviously shaken psyche. She'd known that deep down inside the very distant man, there had been a core of raw emotion, which she had only just begun to reveal. As she'd delved deeper into his character she'd also discovered, but would never voice, that under all the strutting and bravado was a man who was truly lost on this world and had been for most of his life.

He'd told her once long ago, when he thought she had been asleep, that he had never expected to live this long. That, had the chance presented itself, he would have attempted to finish Freiza off himself even if it had meant eminent death. And that depressing wish had almost come true on the far off planet, if it hadn't been for the dragon balls, Bulma would never have gotten to know the mysterious man as intimately as she did.

And with the new images repeat like some morbid movie thorough the back of her mind, she knew that something truly horrible was happening to him. The nightmares from the past month, the insomnia, the excessive physical work outs every day, it was all connected. He was trying to hide from something, something that she'd only just glimpsed in this unusual bond they were forming. A bond, that for months now she had been brushing off as just a deep sense of awareness to him because of their growing relationship.

Thinking back now she realized it was much more. Chi Chi had ones told her that as her love for Goku had grown, a repore had developed between them. She'd also said that Goku with his ever growing curiosity to his new race, had even gone as far as to ask Vegeta about it. The response had been so typically Vegeta. He had replied that it was some primitive throw back the geneticists couldn't have been bothered to breed or genetically altering out of the lower class weaklings. And that it just went to show you how utterly inferior the imbecile was. She hadn't managed to get much more out of Chi after that, Kami bless her, for she had gone into a rabid spew about how much she hated the royally stuck up prince. But once all had been said Bulma had start to wonder if what Vegeta had said had wrung completely true. That maybe there was a lot more to it then the prince realized, the searing pain stabbing through her head was a testament to that.

Racing across the slick asphalt she frantically searched her mind as to where the Saiyan might have gone. Again she rubbed at the pain emanating from her temple, squeezing her eyes shut for a brief moment as images of a pale creature flashed through her mind. His nightmare, that part of himself that he had closed off to her thrust violently into her head as she swerved down the road.. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she dialed the only person she knew who might be able to help. The phone picked up almost instantaneously, the voice on the other end unusually tense. "I know Bulma. I'm on my way. "

"Please help him, Goku" But the only response was the dial tone.

-

Crashing into the mud-covered clearing with jarring force, Vegeta came to an abrupt halt. The rain continuing it assault as he dragged his shaking body up from the rotten filth of the forest floor beneath him. On hands and knee's he retched onto the damp ground, shuddering violently with every heave. Groaning slightly as shivers raged through his cold numbed body.

(Look at the high and mighty prince now. Wallowing in the mud and your own filth right where you belong.)

Shaking his head, Vegeta tried disparately to will the voice of the apparition to stop. He would not loose this battle, loosing it would mean loosing everything. He'd already lost his people there was no way he would give up on the last thing left to him; his pride.

"You will never control me again!" He growled into the darkness as the laughter danced around him. Taunting him from all sides as it circled wildly, dodging in and out as chaotic as the swirling winds. Spinning in the mud Vegeta tried in vain to look in all directions at once, catching out of the corner of his vision a flash of pale flesh that disappeared before he could focus.

"No one owns me! Not you, not her, no one. Do you hear me?

(I already do. Just ask your father…Opps, can't do that, can you? I killed him as he begged for his pathetic life. Said I could take you as payment.)

"SHUT UP!" Screaming, Vegeta trembled with unreleased power. Before untapped and raw, it radiated and pulsed off him in waves of concussive force as he slowly started to slide over the edge. The roar of it slowly drowning out the sounds of the raging storm as his ki buffeted the cloud away in a funnel above him. Churning, the clouds evaporated in a white hot flash, dissipating completely and revealing a bright moon above.

(Give it up. You know in the end you loved it all; the death, the rage, the torture, the nights of unending upheaval and chaos.)

"No, no that's not true. I had no choice…"

(You loved every minute of it and you wanted to beg for more. Out of all my possession, I always did have the most fun with you)

As images and truths of all the insidious deeds he ever committed streaked through his mind, Vegeta howled in out right madness. The last barriers finally tumbling down as he finally lost himself in the roar of white light and hatred.

(That's it my pet. Come back to me….)

-

Seeing a bright pulse of light not too far east of her, Bulma pulled her car quickly across three lanes of traffic and darted down the exit ramp. Hearing somewhere in the back of her mind screeching brakes and honking horns she flashed the appropriate finger and speed off towards the source of the light. Coming to a stop not four miles up a utility road, sprang from the warmth of her sports car and dashed blindly into the bushes. The undergrowth snagging at her legs and hair as she recklessly ran through the darkness. Homing in on the prince through shear will power and concentration on the small, pulsing prick of light she could see in her minds eye. She grasped onto the hope that she wasn't to late, that she'd be able to put a stop the darkness that was engulfing the light of her lover before the unthinkable happened. She knew now that if the inevitable happened there would be no bringing him back with easy words. It would end in an all out battle between her best friend and him. And there would be no coming back for him this time. The dragon would never allow a wish to be repeated.

Bursting forth into a small clearing she careened to a stop mere inches before a steep embankment, arms pin wheeling wildly around her as she tried in vain to regain her balance. Teetering on the edge a pair of strong arms quickly wrapped around her providing her with much needed support.

"Slow down babe, you almost ended up a smear on the rocks"

Glancing down at the clearing some two hundred feet below her she let a sigh of relief pass her lips then looked to her rescuer. "Yumcha, what are you doing here?"

Shaking his head at her shocked expression and pointed towards the glowing figure in the distance. "You try sleeping with that sort of power drumming through your head. He's probably woken up every warrior to this side of the Milky Way with this reckless display. What the hell does he think he's trying to prove? What a bastard."

Biting her tongue, Bulma pulled out from his arms. It had been months since she'd seen him. Not since the day he had unfortunately walked in on them in a very telling position. "I have to get down to him, Yumcha. He's not well."

Chuckling Yumcha sighed under his breath. "I could have told you that the minute he stepped foot on this planet. In fact I think I did on several occasions…"

Knowing exactly were this line of conversation was going she brought it to an abrupt halt. "Yumcha, get over yourself. For once this has nothing to do with you or me for that matter. He needs help and I'm not going to sit here and listen to you whine when he's… she trailed off, glancing towards the pulsating saiyan.

"He's what, Bulma? Finally cracked? Well that's no news flash to me"

Telling herself that she had to do something, say something, anything to bring some clarity to what was happening Bulma prepared herself for what was going to come next. But she couldn't bring her body to move, standing there Bulma watched as the one person she ever truly loved howled in pain as his fractured mind was assaulted from within. 'I don't know what to do, Kami help me'

Feeling the waves of power radiating off him even from this distance she knew he was truly about to slip. 'Please someone do something?' She begged mentally. 'I don't know what to do.' With a sudden pulse of ki Vegeta lifted into the sky.

Subconsciously feeling a tug on her arm Bulma turned lifeless eyes toward Yumcha "That's it, Bulma, snap out of it. We gotta get out of here." Receiving no response Yumcha lifted her cold, shivering body into her arms. "I have no idea what that maniac will do. If we don't leave we're bond to get blown up. I don't know about you but I really don't want to visit the after life again."

"I can't leave him like this."

"Well I don't really give a shit what you can't do. I'm not leaving here without you. Goku here anyway, he won't let the bastard do anything stupid. Goku will stop him and hopefully this time he'll have the guts to even finish the job and end all this bullshit."

Suddenly dragged out of her daze, Bulma turned angry eyes toward Yumcha. Pushing against him violently, she wrenched herself from his arms. "No Yumcha! I won't leave him, you have absolutely no idea what's happening here. As I said this has nothing to do with us, I'm sorry if you have a problem with that. I'm sorry if you're still sore about the fact that we are finished but at the moment none of that matters. He's a living, breathing being who at this moment need our help. "

"A being, need I remind you, who has killed millions in his reign of terror across the galaxy and me for that matter. And also let me refresh your memory, came here with the soul intentions of wiping us all out of existence even you. Or has the whole fact that he gets you off clouded you judgement."

He was prepared for what happened next, but what he didn't expect was the look off hatred that crossed her face as he easily caught her hand. "How dare you. You are such a hypocrite. If we judge everyone on their past what do you think we'd say about yours? We all gave you a chance why not him too?"

"I never kill the innocents."

"I don't even know you anymore."

Dido to that babe. That psycho is liable to do anything and I don't plan on being here when he does, so you can either stay here and possibly get blown to bits or come with me."

"Just leave, Yumcha."

"That's your choice you live with it, but don't expect me to be around to pick up the pieces when you finally realize what you've just committed to." And with one last glaring look at the site before him, shrugged his shoulders and disappeared into the dark sky.

Watching his retreating form Bulma turned back to the scene before her. Feeling the memories pass by her own shattering mind Bulma fell to her knees, burying her head in her hands as she wept in anguish as the images swarmed around her. Vegeta's tightly secured mental barriers had finally crumbled and the sights and experiences from his past assaulted her from all sides. The closeness they shared acting as both a privilege and a curse.

Hearing the unmistakable sound of terror and agony echoing off the canyon walls and her mind, Bulma came to a frightening realization, she was loosing him and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Kami, help us all." Then darkness descended.

-

Wow, this one took a while to write, but I'm finally done. I changed the ending like three time before I was even remotely happy with it. I'm still not to sure if it turned out exactly how I wanted it. I guess it all depends on the type of reviews I get for this one. It is a lot darker then other stuff I've written to date. As you can probably guess I'm not that big a fan of Yumcha. I do plan on writing from his point of view later to give you a bit of insight into the whole break up, to help build his story and attitude. As to when I'll be doing this…I have no idea. The next chapter in currently in the works and will hopefully fill in any gaps that may be missing from this chapter. Like what's going on with Goku for instance. Well I really gotta do some homework this has completely consumed my free afternoon. Looking forward to your reviews and I hope you join me for the next installment. Please review it gives me the inspiration to keep me on going with this.


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